Contest closed!

Please cast your votes at slogan contest voting.

Winners:

Most convincing: [eskimo_bob] - emo kids
" Silly emo kids, knives are for chefs."
Most creative: [raynesprite] - 'Redneck Pest Control'
"Quick Ma' get your fork!"
Funniest: [sophomoric] Adult Diapers
Entry 3. For the go-getter who needs to go, on the go.
Worst: [Heather Thomason]
Entry 1. - death: "If you stab me i'll take the blame"

Badges have been sent to their respective owners.

---

Have you ever thought, upon seeing some commercial or another, that the slogan they used was either absolutely appalling or tearingly hilarious, or even both? Think you could do better? If that is indeed the case, this contest fits you like a glove!

Or then you can participate simply for the fun and challenge of it.

Advertise anything you can come up with. I want you to unleash your imaginative powers to their fullest. Only the sky is your limit!
And if you're clever enough, you can go around that as well.

My rules for you are the following:
1) Original work, please. Plagiarising is evil.
2) Collaborative entries are allowed, as long as everyone gets their credit.
3) Entries are limited to five per participant.
4) State clearly, next to your slogan, what you are trying to sell. I don't intend to buy a pig in a sack.
5) Asking for votes is forbidden, and will result in disqualification. Additionally, I will come after you with a dull spork.
6) Have fun!

Lo and behold, there is now a participant badge which you can put up in your house should you so wish to do. Shiny!


Prizes, which will probably be some kind of nifty badges, are awarded to:
a) the most convincing slogan
b) the most creative slogan
c) the funniest slogan
d) the worst slogan

This way, there are more winners, and, most importantly, we'll all have much more fun! Winners will be decided by poll.

Finally, the dreaded deadline. This contest closes on June 1, 2006.


Any and all questions pertaining to this contest may be addressed to [Linderel].


Now, entries below this line please!

---

1. [Jewl]
Entry 1. Drugs: "When you wanna go 'wheeeeeeeeeyay.'"
Entry 2. For showers: "Our showers are like sex: One wrong turn and you're in hot water!"
Entry 3. Wonder Bras ((To the tune of the "Wonder Ball" jingle by Nestle)) "Who knows what surprises, a wonder bra can hide, perky sexy bust lines, with tiny breasts inside, Oh I wonder wonder what's in a wonder bra..."
Entry 4. Life: "It's to DIE for!"
Entry 5. America: "The only place that has Just Punishment, Rehabilitation and crime. In that order!"

---

2.[Lady of Lore]
Entry 1. Fight for those which you love -Eggo Waffles-
Entry 2. Only fools rush in, the wise man waits around the corner to go in after the fool -Military Survival Acadamy-
Entry 3. When life gives you lemons, put them on your enemies' papercuts. -Citrus Farmer's Motto-

---

3.[Dil*] Happy Pills for suicidal people
Entry 1. Life is a limited time offer, you can die anytime.
Suicide Pills for Suicidal People
Entry 2. Bored of Life?
Entry 3. Death, as opposed to the inconvienence of life.
Entry 4. Finally! You can get some uninterrupted rest.

---

4.[Different Realities] Duct tape
Entry 1. (For flat chested girls.) Our Duct tape now comes with directions! Get perky!

---

5. [nunt] Faulty goods
Entry 1. Only fools strive for perfection.

---

6.[Orouriel] - Cookies
Cookies are like sex: you can't get enough of them!

---

7. [sophomoric] Adult Diapers
Entry 1. We may be number one, but we're all about number two.
Entry 2. We're number one, because frankly, it's what we're all about.
Entry 3. For the go-getter who needs to go, on the go.

---

8. [light.] - originally
Entry 1. Ass kissing can only get you so far, originally gets you farther.

---

9. [Diiwica]-for love
Entry 1"It is like a game of cat and mouse, you need to lure the other in"
entry 2 -Track relay teams
"Run like you stole it, and really wanna keep it."

---

10. [predator elder21] - Coffee
"wake up and smell the coffee."

---

11. [DeadSockMonster]
1. Psychology - "Are you an idiot with an ingenious streak, or a genius with an idiotic streak? Find out at Happydale Psychology Center!"
2. Bubble wrap - "Package protector, depression reliever, funky decoration, all in a handy plastic sheet."

---

12. [raynesprite] - 'Redneck Pest Control'
"Quick Ma' get your fork!"

---

13. [eskimo_bob] - emo kids
" Silly emo kids, knives are for chefs."

---

14.[Heather Thomason]
Entry 1. - death: "If you stab me i'll take the blame"
Entry 2. -fun: "the more you tease the more you get"

---

15.[maggie the pie]
Entry 1. (Panties.) "Forget the Pink Panther, Get Pink Panties."
Entry 2. (Toward Ladies: Lingerie) "They will make you shiver his himbers, or even hers."
Entry 3. (Jumping Off A Rope Into The River) "Jumping is like a drug, addicting."
Entry 4. (Perfect Comeback To Any Joke) "Eat A Big Floppy Dick Sir."

---

16.[Balthizar]
Entry 1. -Encuraging self to be creative-" I am the fruit loop among the cheerios, so Bask in my sugary Goodness."(When adressed to self)
Entry 2. -Encuraging other to be creative-"Be the Fruit loop among the Bowl of Cheerios."(When adressed to another person.)

---

17.[~Ithika~]
Entry 1. (School Mascot Helpline)
   - Because stuffed animals with big heads have feelings too.
Entry 2. (Central Australia Tours)
   - Get Lost!

---

18.[Hobbit teen]
Entry 1. (oreo cookies)
"Oh a nice green bud and some oreo cookies go together when together make the classic combination just a little puff and you develop some imagination....O-R-E-whoa"

Entry 2. (3M)
"We dont grow marijuana....we make it better"

Entry 3. (My town Marengo Iowa)
"Save your self from this hell hole.....keep going....even further....k hold it *lights chinese fire cracker*

---

19. [Wolf By Nature]
Entry 1. Victoria Secrets
"Overly expensive and sexy underware that is only good for letting your boyfriend take off."
Entry 2. Sex Lines
(pirky teenage girl voice) "Call our number and talk to some old, fat, fourty-five year old pervert with a voice changer and a hard on, pretending he some hot girl who's only goal on a saterday night is to have phone-sex with some random teenage guy! We guaranty results!"
Entry 3. Masturbation
"Jesus-Fucking-Christ: He mastribates, why can;t you?"

---

20. [Konobi]
Entry 1: "Canada! It's like the U.S.A's afro!"
Entry 2: "Diharea is like a storm raging through you. Get Pepto Bismal!"
Entry 3: "(Marajuana prevention commercial. Guy wkes up, half stoned next to a really ugly chick.) |H|o|l|y| |C|r|a|p|!| |W|h|o| |a|r|e| |y|o|u|? 'My anti drug.'

---

21[peacefrog]on marriage:
"not only do you get sexual access, you get a gigantic balloon of social status."

---

22.[TriNi Satanus]
Entry 1:on alcohol "Alcohol, hug your toilet without fear of rejection."
Entry 2:On internet chats "Internet chat rooms are just a small step away from REAL FRIENDS."
Entry 3:On drugs "Rehab, you've messed up the rest of your life, time to mess up the only thing you have left, your drug habbit."

---

23.[Chrysilla]
Entry 1: (for cigarettes) "Smoking kills you slowly, but who needs to hurry?"

---

24.[itoe]
Entry 1: (hard work) "Hard Work - Now with elbow grease! Guaranteed to get the job done."

---

25.[wolfgypsy]
Entry 1: (go punk) "Go punk the happy Goth."

---

26. [Praise Adonai]
Entry 1:(Hallmark card) Celebrate Valentine's Day: The day where you guys uys buy her jewlry, dimonds, roses, dinner, and other useless gifts all day just so she that will sleep with you tonight. (inside) Maybe.
Entry 2: (motorcycles) Life's a bitch, get a helmet.
Entry 3: (Sex) Sex is like pizza; pizza can be delicious, or terribly bad, but it's still pizza, i.e. sex
Entry 4: Be a team player, support threesomes

---

27. [Asator Stormbringer]
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a crate -barkeeper

---

---

Back to Writing Contests.